Loving One Another – in a "Different" way

"Without contrariness there is no progression."

Abraham Lincoln did not write those words, but he could have. The sentiment expressed in them—that growth often comes by dealing with people and things that appear to oppose us—came to be one of the guiding principles in his life. We have heard of the idea through the book, Team of Rivals, by Doris Kearns Goodwin, which tells of the way President Lincoln surrounded himself not with "yes" men but with those whose opinion often differed from his own. The book has been cited as an important influence upon other Presidents in forming their own government.

When asked why he did not replace one particular cabinet member who constantly opposed him, Lincoln responded, characteristically, with a story: "Some years ago," he said, "I was passing a field where a farmer was trying to plow with a very old and decrepit horse. I noticed on the flank of the animal a big thistle that the wind had blown until it caught on the animal's hair. I was about to pull it off when the farmer said, 'Don't you remove that thistle, Abe! If it wasn't for that sticker, this old horse wouldn't move an inch!'"

Though today this farmer would probably be brought up on charges by the Humane Society, the truth of the story remains: We all have thistles in our lives that discomfort us. They may be physical problems, emotional challenges or even other people. Sometimes they cripple. Other times, though, these "stickers" keep us on our toes, alive and moving. For, "without contrariness there is no progression."

Wouldn't life be dull if everyone agreed with us all the time? And wouldn't we be far poorer if we always got our way? (I know that some of us secretly would like to find out what it would be like to have everyone go along with us, but there's not much of a chance of that happening anyway!)

We need diversity of thought, difference of opinion, a spectrum of perspectives to grow our minds and deepen our souls. We are simply too limited and self-centered to live an abundant life without some contrariness to keep us honest.

I know that it can be annoying to be in a group with someone who is constantly raising questions or opposing us. But if we can look past the momentary challenge of dealing with that person and begin to see what they are saying, we may learn something new.

True, some people take delight in being contrarian. They just like to be different. So, why not acknowledge that fact and appreciate them for who they are? We don't always have to agree, but we can learn to respect and maybe even come to appreciate each other.

In this month when we celebrate love and express our feelings of affection for special people at least on one day, let's broaden our horizons about who fits into our circle of appreciation. Think about those to whom you may not send a Valentine's card, but who, though they may be one big burr under your saddle of your life, still make life fuller and richer just by being in it.

In the end, President Lincoln developed close personal relationships with many of the "thistles" who had surrounded him. By his forbearance of attitude and his openness of mind, a mutual respect grew among them. And he didn't sell himself short, either. Holding firm to his own convictions, he was able eventually to win most of them to his point of view.

It was not only a winning political strategy, but an exemplary way to treat others, especially others with whom we are not totally in sync. A way that Jesus would have us all walk, I think.

Faithfully,
Pastor Roy

P.S. Click the picture or link below to read the full January 2025 edition of The Beacon. 

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